Satsang with Ananta, Koh Phangan – Thailand

We live on this edge, on this tightrope, of time and no-time. It’s like the paradox of having to book a flight at 7 o’clock, and knowing there is no-time. That is the paradox. To live in either one, you know… is not complete, It’s like the container of this constant paradox is really where life is. Where the good life is.

Do you want the good life?

It is on the edge of this moment. There is nowhere else. It is on the edge of this moment, never moving into the next moment and yet it is becoming ever new. Eternally ever new, evolving on the edge of this moment and there is no other place to be. Even if you get all your riches, your houses, all your things, your lovely boyfriend, your great sex and whatever. I tell you: the experience will not complete you. There will still be something, until you live the good life.

Don’t ever get used to things, because they will become stale, old, worn-out and outdated ways of being. They will stink a little bit. Always be on the edge.. Becoming – not really becoming because you already Are – but you are always becoming new – because what you realize is always informing the form. So your form is always taking a new shape. It has never taken this shape before. And the willingness to keep on moving in This, that is the good life. It’s the abundant life, the rich life.

We can feel this Essence in the room right now. That taste of Truth, which is everybody’s taste. It is the Knowing of what is True, and yet without knowing anything, The Taste of this Essence – that which cannot be found, it is This. It is the good life. And the more that we walk in the not knowing and not holding and not struggling with what is. That is that edge. It is the giving up of the little self. Constantly dying and being born.

Through lifetimes, we have generations dying through our bodies. All the outdated ways of behavior, all that does not work anymore. And it is dying through our bodies, as we cannot give life to it, it is dying off. We cannot repeat what our families did, because it stinks too much. We can’t repeat it, as it doesn’t feel like life, more like the graveyard. All of it is dying through us as we move into what we have never known in the form. We have never known how to live this way. Having the courage to live with nothing to rely on and no greater security than This – that makes you into a human being that has never lived before. It has lived before, but not as You!

So feel welcome. To ask me anything.

Q: I feel stuck in a grieving process. The letting go of identity, of ideas, of my expectations.

Ananta: What does feeling stuck look like?

Q: It feels like a limitation. Like something is keeping me small. Too afraid to really expand and let go. I feel I have shed a lot and then there is just this layer that I can’t pass, can’t let go of. It is a deep sadness and deep grief. There is still the life, a residue, of not being able to let go of this. There is still an idea of a life that I think I should have…

Ananta: The dream you mean? The dream of the life that you thought you should have?

Q: I have let go of it, in terms of ideas. Having a partner in life is one of the things I could not have let go of.

Ananta: Is that what the dream is about? Having the perfect partner? Any body else has that dream?
[Laughter]

First of all: this dream is an injection. It is the reproductive DNA. To make us reproduce as a race. Look what we have been given: these things, these bodies. We are made to enjoy it, because otherwise there would not be any babies. If it was a chore or lots of work, or something we did not enjoy, what would happen to the human race?!

It is injected, in the DNA, the message of the human code. What is going to play out is also hormones, ladies?! Hormones, and maybe you feel it stronger when you bleed. It is a mechanism that is happening through the body/mind – and you are not even doing it, it is right there. During that time, you are also going to feel all of women down the ages. All of the pain.

In the first place to Awaken to what you really truly Are, to open your eyes to know your True Nature, which is before Woman, and before Man, your very Essence of BEing. To open your eyes and come to know This directly. This first recognition gives you a whole different way to meet all of this. Because all of this is not going to go away because you had a so called spiritual awakening. So called because this only happens for a person who doesn’t exist. Even this shift of identification into Awakened Awareness doesn’t change anything as far as what is happening through the body. The hormones are still running, they are still talking to each other and wanting to (…)

Mine were running so strong, I had all the hormones running when this shift took place. I was 32; full on hormones running. That was really part of the dream. I have processed this dream over the years, consciously, not in a way that it should be gone. Never in a way of wanting it to be gone. But living through it. Living through it. Being in it, being even with a man, seven years when I thought this is the one. Living through all of that dream getting blown, blown, blown. I told this man once: “you are the most beautiful endless disappointment, I ever had.”

This was in Satsang. He turned around and said: same same!

And our dream at the level of the little one, the little identity had to play itself out over seven years. Going for baby, all of these things. And the heartbreak, the betrayal at the level of man and woman had to play out in our consciousness to meet it all in a new way. And to meet it all in the highest Truth in the body. I lived through that with him: the end of the dream. Whereas relating still continued for me, because it is still wired into the body. But now it is without the dream.

The difference is very subtle. I could go consciously into the love affair and experience all the man/woman stuff, normally in total freedom. Even experience the jealousy and rejection, it moves through the form, yet it is in freedom. But there is no longer any dream here. Of anything, completing this. This is it’s own Completion.

It’s not like I don’t need a man. The being True to what I know in here, the deepest knowing of Truth, that is the True Masculine Essence. The deepest consciousness is the true Masculine.

When you move from that into your living experience. When you bring what you are knowing into your lived expression – that is Him meeting Her. That is the first real female, the form. That is where the Essence of the Masculine that moves into the Feminine. The Essence within you. You are an Essential being, not a separate Being, an existential being; made up of stillness and movement, consciousness and form, manifestation. That is what you Are, if you explore that, you find only That.

Now the lovemaking needs to start within these two energies. When this starts within you, when you really move and find the deepest knowing in yourself and you fall in love with that, first before anything. We could say to fall in love with god, but it is That. Before anything, before anything. When you move from That into the world – the fulfillment already Is.

And if it happens that out of that movement, some attraction comes into your life. You will not be coming from a begging bowl, a hungry ghost that can only attract another hungry ghost. So this clarification needs to start within you, get clear on what you Are. Investigate and get clear on what you Are. And I know that you are tasting it right now. You are Seeing. And this Seeing is the Consciousness. Which is He, in this moment: is there anything missing? Any grief?
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No.

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❦

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