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An Excerpt from the June 2, 2024 Living Awake Meeting

Mostly in relationships an attraction, our attraction point, the attraction point, mostly in the beginning, there's attraction because there's also a trauma bond. There's also a place where we can play out our trauma with the other. There's a match on that level as much as there is on a deeper level.

And in the heart, there's a match for the trauma. It fits together. One movement from one is going to put the other into its wounding. It's a match. 

If you've got two with exactly the same wounding, there's no match. It needs to have a place where it fits.

So, if one person is withdrawing, the other one is abandoned, like that kind of matching. 

If one is rejecting, the other one is, ahh, what is the other one? Unwanted, unloved, un-duh-duh-duh. So it's a match, right? And it's a dynamic.

It can't happen one without the other. It's a dynamic. It exists in its dynamics, one thing.

So normally, when we attract someone, there are the opportunities for growth and all that we're going to process, and there is that match of that wounding so it can all come conscious, and it can all play out. But if we don't become aware of it, it becomes the fixed pattern of the relationship.

And I don't know how many of you have looked at attachment styles? There are ways that we play emotional attachment styles. Some of us withdraw. Some of us push away. Some of us want to be pushed away. So we can’t...

And it's all weaving into the same thing, that if it's not aware, that we can see what's actually happening, we’re going around and around the same, going back to the same wound. I'm not good enough. Don't want me. Rejected. You're taken straight to the wound.

And then the process of how that comes back into the other side. Who's got the power here? There's a lot of fear and a lot of control. 

So if this is happening unconsciously, it just goes on playing. It's just the thing that keeps on… but it's also the vehicle to wake us up, to become aware of what's really going on, what's really happening here. Can this vehicle become…can that become the vehicle of our evolution, of our growth?

When played out consciously, when both are willing to sit and look at what's really going on, we're no longer just in the dynamics of it.

And a relationship has to grow, has to evolve. Otherwise it's stagnant. 

So, we can explore these things.

But we all know it. Everything that's spoken about is what we all know in ourself. Every bit of it all.

If we can relate in a way where we're really honest and we can really put the cards on the table, and really open up and really see what's behind the way we play, then we begin to relate from awareness. 

And only when we relate from awareness can there really be a true meeting.

❦

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