Moved to Speak of Connection with Osho
Tears are falling as I watch the last series of the Documentary ‘Wild Wild Country’. The story of Rajneesh.
Tears are falling as I see the deep misunderstanding…
And anyone who was not connected to Osho, or who had not been deeply touched by him, would never understand how ‘Sannyasins’ and even how I could speak in such a deeply devoted way, they would think we were brainwashed, how else!?
I want to share a little bit of my story…
When I myself was imprisoned and solitary confined for 2 and half years or more, I had no visits, I was lucky if I got 1 letter per month from my Mother, I never had one conversation during that time except with guards in broken Japanese.
I was subject to being led around with chains on my ankles and wrists and a rope around my waist whenever being transported… while being screamed at and made to face the wall if another prisoner passed.
I fought the authorities for 9 months to be allowed my treasured Osho Photo, an A4 size photo in which his eyes were penetrating wells of silence, I had to prove that my connection With him was religious and after 9 months I won the permission to have that photo in my cell.
It was the only eyes I looked into during the whole time I was sentenced.
The total faith I had in his transmission was my lifeline.
Just 18 months earlier I had totally surrendered the Heart to Osho, what I know now was that it was Truth that was surrendered to and I recognised his voice as That deepest knowing in my own Heart, he spoke it and the penetration reached the deepest knowing, this little ego bowed down and took Sannyas, the name Ananta and a spiritual life… so after that I listened to his words day and night and this heart opened without any filters, it was a love beyond all I had ever known.
So deep and Eternal.
There were always so many stories right from the beginning of Being called to Osho, and they went right over my head... as the movement to go there was an unstoppable, undoubtable movement of Life itSelf.
So when I got that photo in my cell, I sat for hours looking in to those eyes and I would go into complete stillness, Eternal silence. Bliss. Sat Chit Ananda.
On my time outside of the factory I was forced to work in, I used to read his books, I had 25 kilos of them and was allowed 2 at a time.
At the end of each day, when I came back from the factory in pain all over and was not allowed to lean against the wall, I sat on my knees, there was no chair in the cell, and I would read one or two pages, paragraph by paragraph and stop and look into those eyes…. It was as if the transmission was entering my very soul, there was no gap between his words and the knowing. It was everything to me, it was the thing that kept me going and no matter how bad it got inside…. I was able to see and know greater depths through this practice. I felt He was with me, and of course that was the connection with Eternal Being.
It is no mistake that I had 25 kilos of those books, or that photo, or no distraction of any kind of blah blah and it was the only ‘relationship’ I had with Nobody except for a reflection. Of my deepest Self.
It was through those gifts that I slowly knew mySelf as Awareness of Awareness, I knew the mystery he pointed to, I knew Tantra and I knew the poetry he sang inside my own Heart and I was Awakened through this transmission and didn’t even know what that meant.
So how not to be forever connected in the Heart with his message and what his Being was ? It was complete surrender to THAT.
It was the deepest love affair that opened Love in its purest formless form.
So how to ever overlook the value of that?
In Pune I came to know so many experiences that were the very seeds of what so called ‘my life’ has become an expression of… I became honest.
Hearing all these crazy stories of what went on at The Ranch can never touch or take away what was opened in this Heart, it was deeper than all stories.
I understand that this cannot be understood. Unless you too have shared this same Love affair… these words are not to be taken lightly.
This Heart breaks watching him In prison chains, I know how that feels, to be somehow physically tortured, humiliated and yet to know the ‘part’ of you that can never ever be humiliated.
This Heart breaks at the misunderstanding of those who looked on him as a malicious conman.
Oh, by the Grace of God
Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou
Beloved of my Heart,
Tears are falling as I see the deep misunderstanding…
And anyone who was not connected to Osho, or who had not been deeply touched by him, would never understand how ‘Sannyasins’ and even how I could speak in such a deeply devoted way, they would think we were brainwashed, how else!?
I want to share a little bit of my story…
When I myself was imprisoned and solitary confined for 2 and half years or more, I had no visits, I was lucky if I got 1 letter per month from my Mother, I never had one conversation during that time except with guards in broken Japanese.
I was subject to being led around with chains on my ankles and wrists and a rope around my waist whenever being transported… while being screamed at and made to face the wall if another prisoner passed.
I fought the authorities for 9 months to be allowed my treasured Osho Photo, an A4 size photo in which his eyes were penetrating wells of silence, I had to prove that my connection With him was religious and after 9 months I won the permission to have that photo in my cell.
It was the only eyes I looked into during the whole time I was sentenced.
The total faith I had in his transmission was my lifeline.
Just 18 months earlier I had totally surrendered the Heart to Osho, what I know now was that it was Truth that was surrendered to and I recognised his voice as That deepest knowing in my own Heart, he spoke it and the penetration reached the deepest knowing, this little ego bowed down and took Sannyas, the name Ananta and a spiritual life… so after that I listened to his words day and night and this heart opened without any filters, it was a love beyond all I had ever known.
So deep and Eternal.
There were always so many stories right from the beginning of Being called to Osho, and they went right over my head... as the movement to go there was an unstoppable, undoubtable movement of Life itSelf.
So when I got that photo in my cell, I sat for hours looking in to those eyes and I would go into complete stillness, Eternal silence. Bliss. Sat Chit Ananda.
On my time outside of the factory I was forced to work in, I used to read his books, I had 25 kilos of them and was allowed 2 at a time.
At the end of each day, when I came back from the factory in pain all over and was not allowed to lean against the wall, I sat on my knees, there was no chair in the cell, and I would read one or two pages, paragraph by paragraph and stop and look into those eyes…. It was as if the transmission was entering my very soul, there was no gap between his words and the knowing. It was everything to me, it was the thing that kept me going and no matter how bad it got inside…. I was able to see and know greater depths through this practice. I felt He was with me, and of course that was the connection with Eternal Being.
It is no mistake that I had 25 kilos of those books, or that photo, or no distraction of any kind of blah blah and it was the only ‘relationship’ I had with Nobody except for a reflection. Of my deepest Self.
It was through those gifts that I slowly knew mySelf as Awareness of Awareness, I knew the mystery he pointed to, I knew Tantra and I knew the poetry he sang inside my own Heart and I was Awakened through this transmission and didn’t even know what that meant.
So how not to be forever connected in the Heart with his message and what his Being was ? It was complete surrender to THAT.
It was the deepest love affair that opened Love in its purest formless form.
So how to ever overlook the value of that?
In Pune I came to know so many experiences that were the very seeds of what so called ‘my life’ has become an expression of… I became honest.
Hearing all these crazy stories of what went on at The Ranch can never touch or take away what was opened in this Heart, it was deeper than all stories.
I understand that this cannot be understood. Unless you too have shared this same Love affair… these words are not to be taken lightly.
This Heart breaks watching him In prison chains, I know how that feels, to be somehow physically tortured, humiliated and yet to know the ‘part’ of you that can never ever be humiliated.
This Heart breaks at the misunderstanding of those who looked on him as a malicious conman.
Oh, by the Grace of God
Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou
Beloved of my Heart,
